For all those times we've said, "I just need a few extra hours." Or "if I had more time." ... Here it is. Well, was. Extra time. There is one hour and five minutes left (by my clock as I begin writing this) of "extra time."
But, did you use it? Did you really use it? Or, was it just another day. hmm....just another day. A wasted day? A precious day? Or, just another day?
Disneyland was open from 6 a.m. today and won't close until 6 a.m. tomorrow. Wow! 24 hours of Disney fun! That would be a cool way to spend an "extra" day."
I really could have, should have, would have (ha!) used it to finish these crazy TPA tasks that I so desperately NEED to get done. But...didn't. I didn't use one single "extra" minute for it. Shame on me. Or, not.
I put together a stewardship spotlight psoter for church. I read a devotional in the middle of the day. I said some extra prayers. I made some important phone calls. I wrote a stewardship spotlight article for the church newsletter. I took Connor to taekwondo and sat with Miss K to watch him. And, we made a spectacular dinner: curry-coconut pork chops, couscous, and artichokes. I even wrote down the recipe we created. Just another day? I think not.
Time is my worst enemy and my best friend. I do not value it as I should. Do you? So, did you have a Disney sort of day? Or did you spend your "extra" time valuing seemingly regular moments that really were spectacular in and of themselves. Whatever you did, if you look closely, I imagine you'll find that no matter what, it was NOT "just another day."
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Moving Out, Moving On, Moving Up
In some writing I worked on a few weeks ago, I jotted down these three moves...
Moving Out
Moving On
Moving Up
These are three parts of what we are doing as we go through the process of divorce. Our lives are changing. They are evolving. We are once again emerging as our true selves. It is not easy, but it is an exciting journey that is worth enjoying.
My co-author and I have talked some about these three moves. And, we have referenced them in discussing some of the steps we are taking. So, for the first time, I used it with someone who hadn't heard it previously.
I went to get gas one day last week at my old gas station. The attendant hadn't seen me since June of last year. She complimented me, saying something about how nice I looked. I was flattered. When she said something a second time, I again thanked her, but added, "I moved out. I'm moving on and I'm moving up." She replied, "And it shows, sister."
I left with a little more confidence than I had when I arrived. It was a great feeling.
In addition to really delving into the Biblical journey portion of this process today (see post below), I also did some grown-up things today. I know it sounds funny. A month from now I will celebrate my 35th birthday. I make grown-up decisions all the time. That's no unusual. I enjoy being an adult who makes mature decisions. But, every so often, I have a day that reminds me that I am a grown-up. I had one such day today.
Today, I called around to track down information on a credit card debt that needs repaying. It took multiple phone calls and some patience. I finally tracked down the information I needed. I then needed to draft a letter, which led to a second letter that needed writing. I did nto give up. I did not wait for them to contact me. I took some necessary initiative. It felt good. I also took a step toward one of my big goals for the year. I contacted my worker and canceled my cash aid. I have been receiving assistance for a few months and I needed it, but I am anxious to have more control over my life and the life I provide for my children. I have started doing some substitute teaching again and am anxious to do more and more as I look for a regular teaching job. In making the decision to cancel the cash aid, I am also deciding to get myself on more call lists. In deciding to get on more call lists for sub jobs, I am making the decision to keep myself to the goal of having my TPA task writing done this month. All of this so that March can be my first month really and truly moving up! I hope and pray that the decisions I make today and the goals I start meeting help provide a better tomorrow for my two beautiful children. They are why I do so much of what I do. I can't move up without taking them along with me. We will move up together. And it is a beautiful thing for which I am incredibly thankful.
Days aren't easy. Each day brings with it a task, a trial, a battle...something to conquer. But getting my mind straight helps. I know the decisions I am making now will pay off in the future. So I continue to forge ahead. This is all an incredible journey!
What goals have you set for the year ahead? What are you doing to work toward them and "goal tend"?
I am a little more reflective, of course, as we are going into Lent. I have made a commitment to God, and to God only. I am not sharing it publicly yet. I have also decided to start a new Lenten devotional, thanks to Episcopal Relief and Development (ERD). Lastly, I am going to create me own 40-days of thankfulness. Be thankful and "give thanks with a grateful heart."
Moving Out
Moving On
Moving Up
These are three parts of what we are doing as we go through the process of divorce. Our lives are changing. They are evolving. We are once again emerging as our true selves. It is not easy, but it is an exciting journey that is worth enjoying.
My co-author and I have talked some about these three moves. And, we have referenced them in discussing some of the steps we are taking. So, for the first time, I used it with someone who hadn't heard it previously.
I went to get gas one day last week at my old gas station. The attendant hadn't seen me since June of last year. She complimented me, saying something about how nice I looked. I was flattered. When she said something a second time, I again thanked her, but added, "I moved out. I'm moving on and I'm moving up." She replied, "And it shows, sister."
I left with a little more confidence than I had when I arrived. It was a great feeling.
In addition to really delving into the Biblical journey portion of this process today (see post below), I also did some grown-up things today. I know it sounds funny. A month from now I will celebrate my 35th birthday. I make grown-up decisions all the time. That's no unusual. I enjoy being an adult who makes mature decisions. But, every so often, I have a day that reminds me that I am a grown-up. I had one such day today.
Today, I called around to track down information on a credit card debt that needs repaying. It took multiple phone calls and some patience. I finally tracked down the information I needed. I then needed to draft a letter, which led to a second letter that needed writing. I did nto give up. I did not wait for them to contact me. I took some necessary initiative. It felt good. I also took a step toward one of my big goals for the year. I contacted my worker and canceled my cash aid. I have been receiving assistance for a few months and I needed it, but I am anxious to have more control over my life and the life I provide for my children. I have started doing some substitute teaching again and am anxious to do more and more as I look for a regular teaching job. In making the decision to cancel the cash aid, I am also deciding to get myself on more call lists. In deciding to get on more call lists for sub jobs, I am making the decision to keep myself to the goal of having my TPA task writing done this month. All of this so that March can be my first month really and truly moving up! I hope and pray that the decisions I make today and the goals I start meeting help provide a better tomorrow for my two beautiful children. They are why I do so much of what I do. I can't move up without taking them along with me. We will move up together. And it is a beautiful thing for which I am incredibly thankful.
Days aren't easy. Each day brings with it a task, a trial, a battle...something to conquer. But getting my mind straight helps. I know the decisions I am making now will pay off in the future. So I continue to forge ahead. This is all an incredible journey!
What goals have you set for the year ahead? What are you doing to work toward them and "goal tend"?
I am a little more reflective, of course, as we are going into Lent. I have made a commitment to God, and to God only. I am not sharing it publicly yet. I have also decided to start a new Lenten devotional, thanks to Episcopal Relief and Development (ERD). Lastly, I am going to create me own 40-days of thankfulness. Be thankful and "give thanks with a grateful heart."
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Biblical journey begins
Matthew 5:31-32 (NKJV)
“Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.
This also appears in the other Gospels. Mark and Luke (I believe) both leave out the "except" portion. Depending on the translation you read, the except may be "sexual immorality" or "fornication" or "marital unfaithfulness." The original Greek text uses the term "pornea."
No matter how you read it or interpret it, this is a very difficult thing to process when you are in the midst of divorce. It is a struggle. I know that God is not fond of divorce. But, I also have to believe that he wants me to be the healthiest me I can be. So, I have set out on a Biblical journey. I met with the rector of my parish this morning. I will soon meet with our deacon, too. I also have started combing through various Bible verses and have a list of books of the Bible that I will go back and read.
No matter where you are on your journey, know this, God loves you.
Read it again: God loves you. Say it out loud: God loves ME!
Jesus loves me, this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so.
We sing it at children, but once our childlike faith dissipates and we grow up, we somehow fall away from it. Perhaps we forget it. But it is as true today as it was when we were children.
Ezekiel 36:26-28 (NKJV)
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. Then you shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; you shall be My people, and I will be your God.
John 14:27 (NKJV)
Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
So, as this Biblical journey really begins, I am not only consulting the Bible itself, but clergy, devotional readings, information on various denominations, Christian writings, and some online resources.
“Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.
This also appears in the other Gospels. Mark and Luke (I believe) both leave out the "except" portion. Depending on the translation you read, the except may be "sexual immorality" or "fornication" or "marital unfaithfulness." The original Greek text uses the term "pornea."
No matter how you read it or interpret it, this is a very difficult thing to process when you are in the midst of divorce. It is a struggle. I know that God is not fond of divorce. But, I also have to believe that he wants me to be the healthiest me I can be. So, I have set out on a Biblical journey. I met with the rector of my parish this morning. I will soon meet with our deacon, too. I also have started combing through various Bible verses and have a list of books of the Bible that I will go back and read.
No matter where you are on your journey, know this, God loves you.
Read it again: God loves you. Say it out loud: God loves ME!
Jesus loves me, this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so.
We sing it at children, but once our childlike faith dissipates and we grow up, we somehow fall away from it. Perhaps we forget it. But it is as true today as it was when we were children.
Ezekiel 36:26-28 (NKJV)
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. Then you shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; you shall be My people, and I will be your God.
John 14:27 (NKJV)
Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
So, as this Biblical journey really begins, I am not only consulting the Bible itself, but clergy, devotional readings, information on various denominations, Christian writings, and some online resources.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Keep the faith
Every night, I sing "Seek Ye First" to Kiera as I start helping her settle in for bed. It is one of a few songs that I enjoy singing to her.
Today in church, I started flipping through and noting some Bible verses. I started looking them up tonight as I would like to study them some. I was reading through the sixth chapter of Matthew and, of course, for the third time this weekend was reminded of "seek first the kingdom of God." But that is not waht really stuck with me. Here it is (from Matthew 6 NIV):
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Today in church, I started flipping through and noting some Bible verses. I started looking them up tonight as I would like to study them some. I was reading through the sixth chapter of Matthew and, of course, for the third time this weekend was reminded of "seek first the kingdom of God." But that is not waht really stuck with me. Here it is (from Matthew 6 NIV):
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Saturday, February 18, 2012
What difference does faith make?
I have had a ton on my mind that I have wanted to write and post. I've written some, but not posted in a couple of weeks. So, here I am. As I substituted yesterday, I looked up at the wall in the fifth grade classroom and saw a poster.
What difference does faith make?
So, I asked myself. What difference does faith make? It makes a difference to different people, at different times, in different ways.
What difference does faith make?
Faith got me throught he darkest hours following the stillbirth of my second child. When I started to ask "why me?" it was my faith that changed it to "why not me?" If a mother was going to lose a child, a mother with a strong, deep-rooted faith has a tool to use, a shoulder to lean on, a rock to hold her up. My faith helped me through.
What difference does faith make? Ask a mom of a young child praying the Lord's Prayer together for the first time. Ask a newly baptized friend. Ask a retiring pastor or priest.
What difference does faith make? As I stood at my nana's bedside for the last time with my almost three-year-old son singing "This Littlle Light of Mine," it brought peace, comfort, and joy to a sad, quiet time.
What difference does faith make? Ask someone recently diagnosed with cancer. Ask a child making his first communion. Ask a dancer taking the stage for the first time. Ask a singer who lost her voice. Ask a father teaching his son to drive.
What difference does faith make?
Faith got me to take the first step and then the second and third and...each and every step I needed to take as I walked away from everything but my children. In leaving my husband, I separated from my house, my business, friends, family, neighbors. I left with the clothes on my back and a few items in a trash bag. Faith saw me through it all. I don't know where I would be without my faith.
I am who I am because of my faith.
My children are who they are because of faith.
Our lives are whole because of faith.
Thanks be to God.
So now, ask yourself -- what difference does faith make?
What difference does faith make?
So, I asked myself. What difference does faith make? It makes a difference to different people, at different times, in different ways.
What difference does faith make?
Faith got me throught he darkest hours following the stillbirth of my second child. When I started to ask "why me?" it was my faith that changed it to "why not me?" If a mother was going to lose a child, a mother with a strong, deep-rooted faith has a tool to use, a shoulder to lean on, a rock to hold her up. My faith helped me through.
What difference does faith make? Ask a mom of a young child praying the Lord's Prayer together for the first time. Ask a newly baptized friend. Ask a retiring pastor or priest.
What difference does faith make? As I stood at my nana's bedside for the last time with my almost three-year-old son singing "This Littlle Light of Mine," it brought peace, comfort, and joy to a sad, quiet time.
What difference does faith make? Ask someone recently diagnosed with cancer. Ask a child making his first communion. Ask a dancer taking the stage for the first time. Ask a singer who lost her voice. Ask a father teaching his son to drive.
What difference does faith make?
Faith got me to take the first step and then the second and third and...each and every step I needed to take as I walked away from everything but my children. In leaving my husband, I separated from my house, my business, friends, family, neighbors. I left with the clothes on my back and a few items in a trash bag. Faith saw me through it all. I don't know where I would be without my faith.
I am who I am because of my faith.
My children are who they are because of faith.
Our lives are whole because of faith.
Thanks be to God.
So now, ask yourself -- what difference does faith make?
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
my sketch
I had this idea in my head and I worked to get it down on paper. I'm not the best artist, of course, but I think that I get across how I've felt the past few months.
This is, I'm sure you can tell, inspired by Terry McMillan's book title (and subsequent movie adaptation) "How Stella Got Her Groove Back."
I worked on some notes for the book the past day or so. The typed version just got sent off to my co-author. Here's something I wrote that we both really like: moving out, moving on, moving up.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)