On our way: Travel Day

*This is part two in a series on our big adventure to Paris, France.

Travel anxiety is a reality for our little family. I have experienced it for years and I have found that both ids experience it to some degree. Managing this is important. One thing I do is work to keep things reasonable and calm for traveling. We plan ahead, and typically pack in advance. We make lists. I also plan for stops however I can make work for us. For this particular trip, I booked a hotel room with the "Park and Go" option at the Doubletree near the San Francisco airport. This allowed us to travel over the day before our flight, have a relaxing evening and use a shuttle to get to the airport the following morning. (I also booked a room for our return so we did not have to drive directly home late in the evening after 22 hours of travel.)

We spent the week before the trip gathering what we needed and packing. The day we would depart home, I picked up the kids early from school and we returned home to double-check everything and load the car. We then headed off to the hotel near the airport. My Chico and family joined us later that night. We had adjoining rooms and we were able to leave both cars at the hotel. This alleviated airport parking fees.

Saturday morning, we got up and going early so we could dress, gather, and catch the airport shuttle. We also checked in for the flight electronically in advance. All we needed to do was check bags and get through security. With six of us traveling, keeping things streamlined and easy to manage was important. We were traveling with a 1:1 ratio of adult to child which helped as well. CD will turn 13 later this year, so he was an added help at times, but also needed some scooting along at times.


Our first flight took us from San Francisco to Dallas. We grabbed a quick bite to eat in the Dallas airport, right next to our departure gate. We then were right there and ready to go when boarding started for our second flight. This flight took us from Dallas to Charles de Gaulle. This flight proved interesting. The estimated flight time was slightly over nine hours. As it turned out, Storm Ciara helped move us right along and we landed in Paris about an hour early. You may have seen the news around that same time. A British Airways flight from New York to London broke a record because of the same tailwinds. We arrived in Paris shortly after 8 a.m. (Paris time). We got through customs, got our passports stamped, picked up our luggage, and started the long journey across the airport. The three kids were troopers. We had a five-year-old, a nine-year-old, and a 12-year-old. Everyone had bags to carry and suitcases to roll along as we made the trek from our arrival terminal to the CDG Metro station.

It was here that our journey into and through Paris began. We needed to get our day passes for the Metro and we planned to get Navigo cards then purchase a week pass for each. For the Navigo, you need a photo of yourself that is roughly the size of a passport photo. Duplicates of passport photos and copies of passport photos can be cut down to fit. They also have an option available if you need a photo. The Photomaton booth is convenient and relatively easy to use. However, as My Chico suggested, you may not want to take a photo after a very long day of traveling. Still, having the option is convenient. It costs about 5€.

Everyone in the Metro station is friendly and helpful. Many speak excellent English, but you can tell they appreciate at least being greeted in French.

Travel tip: When traveling internationally, try to learn at least a few basic phrases. Having the ability to greet someone in their native language can go a long way. I did audio French lessons with the kids so they would become familiar with the language generally, but also so they could learn basic phrases and numbers. This helped them immensely as we traveled through Paris. Day 1 CD could walk into a boulangerie and order a baguette. By the end of the week, he placed a full order for himself and Miss Hollywood in a sit-down cafe.

Once we had our Metro passes squared away, our trek across Paris to our flat began. Be prepared for stairs. With kids and suitcases, this may feel like a challenge. Let's be real. It is a challenge. But, we did it. As the week went on, we found our navigation of the Metro system became more efficient. Still, every Metro station has stairs. Be ready for lots of stairs everywhere you go.

We arrived at our flat and received a warm greeting from the person who met us to show us around and let us know what we needed to know about staying there. As rest for the kids began, My Chico and I headed out to check out our neighborhood. So many fresh options everywhere we went. We were in Heaven. I wish I could live in a similar neighborhood. I loved having the ability to walk everywhere. And so began a week without driving. A welcome break.

For dinner that evening, we enjoyed a poulet roti (rotisserie chicken) and pommes de terre (potatoes) from a nearby boucherie (butcher). We had settled in and were ready to begin our week living in Paris. Our littlest travel buddy and Miss Hollywood seemed especially ready. They would rise around 2 a.m. the next morning and we would all start our day by about 5 a.m. Thank goodness for Nespresso!

In the next blog: We begin seeing the sights of the City of Lights.

"A dream is a wish your heart makes..."

*This is part one in a series on our big adventure to Paris, France.

At age three, Miss Hollywood dreamed of going to Paris. In an effort to make a dream come true, I transformed our home into a Paris bistro with a view of the Eiffel Tower. I purchased baked goods, baked a Madeline hat birthday cake, and placed a canvas of the Eiffel Tower in the front window. The French flag flew out in front of the house. Miss Hollywood wore a smile all afternoon. It was as if we had entered Doctor Who's TARDIS and transported ourselves. It was a day full of joy.

Still, she continued to hope and dream.

What I learned that day, too, was that rather than pump money into a a party, I wanted to start giving the kids adventures. For what I spent transforming our house into Paris for a day, I could have taken the kids to Disneyland. So, starting the following year, we began big adventures. We have visited National Parks, Disneyland, and even taken surfing lessons. The adventures continue to grow. The kids want to see the world and I will do everything I can to show it to them.

From Aladdin:

"I can show you the world

Shining, shimmering, splendid

Tell me, princess, now when did

You last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes

Take you wonder by wonder

Over, sideways and under

On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world

A new fantastic point of view

No one to tell us, "No"

Or where to go

Or say we're only dreaming

A whole new world

A dazzling place I never knew..."

When she was four, I made a promise to Miss Hollywood. "I will one day take you to Paris."

When CD turned 10, I gave him the opportunity to choose a trip for our little family of three. He chose to go for a "next-gen" trip to our family's ranch in Santa Maria. We invited My Chico and her family to join us, as well as two cousins. We had a fabulous time! Always the planner, Miss Hollywood immediately started talking more seriously again about traveling to Paris. Now age seven, she still loved Madeline books and cartoons, tea parties, and the idea of visiting the top of the Eiffel Tower. It was time to take this idea seriously. When I asked her directly where she wanted her tenth birthday trip to take us, she responded without hesitation, "France."

So, My Chico and I began our preliminary planning. We knew it would happen in 2020. We also knew that summer travel is not always the easiest to navigate nor the most affordable so we began exploring other options. We set our sights on a February trip. Although Miss Hollywood has a summer birthday, in the interest of budgeting both time and money, it seemed reasonable to do her birthday trip just a little early.

Last Spring, we really got to planning and preparing for this big trip. We had our dates selected and started pricing airfare and lodging options. We settled on going with an AirBNB, acknowledging that traveling as a "framily" of six, it would ultimately be the most affordable option. We booked our flights in July of last year to make our first commitment to this trip. Just booking the flights caused great excitement for all of us. We continued to look at our lodging options and began exploring the best means of getting around the City of Lights, what to see and do in the winter time, and how to stretch our dollar (or Euro, as the case may be) and get more bang for our buck on this trip.

For Christmas, I gave CD and Miss Hollywood new suitcases and backpacks to prepare them for our big travel week. I also gave them water bottles. All of these were Harry Potter themed because we love Harry Potter! My Chico gave us each a set of packing cubes. These would come in very handy. They kept us organized and made packing even easier for the kids. I found them to be especially helpful when it came time to repack for the return home at the end of the trip.

In January, we booked our flat in the 20th Arrondissement, right near the 11th. It turned out to be perfect! We found a place close to a Metro station and surrounded by shops so we could pick up bread, cheese, meats, and other items easily. We also began booking our activities. In all, before traveling, we had priced access to Versailles and Le Louvre, purchased two-day passes for the hop-on/hop-off BigBus that included a cruise on the River Seine, and our tickets to the top of the Eiffel Tower. We were ready to go.

The kids began packing a few days ahead of the trip. I helped them plan what to pack, but left most of their packing to them while I worked on my own. This dream was about to come true.

In the next blog: We arrive in Paris, get settled into our flat, and the adventure begins!

Blog post title inspired by Songwriters: Mack David / Al Hoffman / Jerry Livingston / David Pack "A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes" lyrics © Walt Disney Music Company

Thank you for inspiring little girls across generations to dream.

Saying goodbye (My sweet Elizabeth)

*Note: I started to write this over six months ago. I walked away from it and have not posted a blog since. I am now in a place where I need to write again. I have a series of posts that will look at some travel experiences and tips. But I vowed to myself last year that I would not write here until I finished this post. So, first, I will finish this post. This is one of the most difficult things I have ever written and that is why I went on a writing hiatus. Alas, here I am. Ready to write. Therefore, it is time to finish this. Properly. RR 2/17/2020

I had applied to six colleges/universities: University of Tennessee, University of Nebraska, Indiana University, Plymouth College (NH), Chico State, and my "dream school" the American University of Paris. I had received acceptance letters from the first five and decided I should choose from among them. I chose the University of Tennessee. Then, a

letter arrived. I considered changing my decision. It was, afterall, my dream. Once my mom said that I likely wouldn't be able to travel home for Christmas if I was in Paris (though she supported my decision whatever I chose), it was clear that I would go to Tennessee. Family contact was too important to me. At this point in my senior year, I had returned to my regular high school from the LA County HS for the Arts (purely, 100% my choice in my commitment to family), my dad had taken a job six hours away, my mom had gone on medical retirement, and my grandmother had died. The dream of attending school in Paris was not worth being so far from family. My freshman year at UT was imperfect (at best). And, it was one of the most influential years of my life. I learned much about myself, but it is the relationships built that extended my sense of family. Before sunrise Friday morning, I will board a plane to Atlanta. The young lady on the left will greet me once on the ground at ATL. Then, we travel together to say our last goodbyes (or "see you laters") to the young lady in the middle. I created this for them back in 1996. I found a copy in my trunk in my storage unit today. I will make a copy of it to carry with me Friday. We may not know why things play out the way the do. But, in the end, there is a reason for everything. I believe that with all my heart. These three crazy teenagers grew into adult friends who have loved and supported each other through life's ups and downs. The song lyrics I typed on that note 23 years ago were never more true than they are right now. And while my heart hurts, this friendship is something I would not trade for anything in the world. Not a University in Paris, not for not experiencing this loss, not one thing. I am better because I made that decision 24 years ago to attend UT. 


One day, I found myself sitting on the floor outside of my dorm room. Birgitta and Elizabeth were nearby neighbors. They "swooped in" and scooped me up. They took me under their wings. They became instant friends. We were well into the the school year. They were there. The friendships forged that day are special and unique and wonderful. I dreamed of one day moving to Atlanta. We planned (albeit somewhat jokingly) that we would one day all live on the same street. Birgitta and Elizabeth promised they would always watch over me or "be in the bushes." And then the ugly C-word came into our lives. Several months out, I remain sad, angry, and frustrated. F-Cancer. Within less than a year colon cancer ripped two of my best friends from the world. One I met as an adult. The other, was my sweet Elizabeth. She always told it like it was. Yet listened.

When I went through my divorce several years ago, she called. She tried to talk and walk me through, but she listened to every word I had to say. She was like a big sister.

When she was diagnosed in 2018, I booked a flight for Miss K and me to go to Atlanta. I knew better than to waste time. The day after burying another friend who died of colon cancer, I was being picked up by Elizabeth for a day out and about in Atlanta. Our girls hit it off instantly. 

We once talked of living down the street from each other. We talked of our kids growing up together. To see our girls hit it off so famously made it all come together.

And then. In 2019, things worsened. Just before the end of the school year, she left us. It still seems surreal. And it hurts. So much. Dreams shattered. A friendship gone a different direction than we ever could have imagined. I am sad, sometimes angry. How could the world lose such an amazing soul as this?

But....

but...

Yes, but...in her time here, she was such a blessing. I am better for having known her. The world is better because Elizabeth Clark Owens Estes was a part of it.

Four years ago, I was in Southern Alabama. She and her husband drove with their three girls and a foster baby to come meet me. We walked and talked. We ate together. It wasn't exactly what we hoped in our visit, but it was what we needed. I love her. I miss her. I am thankful for everything she was in my life. I am thankful for that day she stopped and figuratively and literally picked me up off the floor and became my friend. 

I could have gone to the American University in Paris and my life would be entirely different. I am thankful for the course that played out from the moment I selected the University of Tennessee. It as a windy road, but here I am. And whole not without pain and loss, it is an awesome place to be.

A day in the life of the "sandwich generation"

From Google:

sand·wich gen·er·a·tion

noun

1. a generation of people, typically in their thirties or forties, responsible for bringing up their own children and for the care of their aging parents.

I am in what is known as "the sandwich generation." There are articles, such as this, that date back over five years about "the sandwich generation."

The Pew Research Center article includes this:
"Sandwich-generation adults are somewhat more likely than other adults to say they are often pressed for time. Among those with a parent age 65 or older and a dependent child, 31% say they always feel rushed even to do the things they have to do. Among other adults, the share saying they are always rushed is smaller (23%)."

Additionally, it states, "Presumably life in the sandwich generation could be a bit stressful. Having an aging parent while still raising or supporting one’s own children presents certain challenges not faced by other adults—caregiving and financial and emotional support to name just a few."

Life in the "sandwich generation" can be stressful and being pressed for time is likely the biggest factor I personally feel. You see, I am among the "sandwich generation." I am in my 40s. I have parents over age 65 and dependent children. Factor in, also, tha tboth of my parents have health issues and you have a whopper here! But, I must say, that it all works out ok. We do well, overall. Life has its ups, downs, struggles, frustrations, and joys. To know we are not entirely unique, helps me feel a little better. Knowing that we are mastering this situation in some ways also helps me feel better. Still, I suspect many of my peers are not entirely immersed in this as we are. I can tell you that my brother technically fits into this generation, but does not experience the same way I do. That's ok. We lead different lives and we do things differently. I think this points to the fact that the "sandwich generation" operates in different ways even among a single family.

As I reflect on the day, I want to share with you a bit what a day in the life of someone who fits the "mold" of the "sandwich generation" looks like.

Each day, I get up and go to work. I work in education. I am a dedicated educator and I work hard for both my students and my own children. I lesson plan, I grade papers, I wash and sometimes even fold laundry. My unique piece here is that I also have Fibromyalgia. So, some days I rest, whether I like it (need it) or not. Some days, I plow through. Others require rest. Over 15 years ago, a doctor gave me permission to nap. So, when I can grab a nap, I do. Many days, though, this is not an option. That makes the days when it is an option make me feel especially lazy. I worry about what my parents and my children think on those days. I try to take time for myself in other ways. Sometimes that means attending an education conference. Sometimes that means catching a movie with my kids. Sometimes that means attending a concert with My Chico or a show with a friend. I don't sit still well, even when my body dictates it. So, I go-go-go. And so, yes, time is an issue. I don't always get the laundry folded. I don't always get papers graded as quickly as I would like. But this blog post is not about Fibromyalgia. This is about my role as a daughter, mother, and human in the "sandwich generation."

Let me share with you my day today. My mom had an important doctor's appointment, so I took the day off from work. I arranged for a sub as soon as I knew about the appointment. Today marked the second day back after two weeks off for Christmas. I worked yesterday. That means I went to school and taught then stayed late to prep. I had to get things ready for my sub today and I needed to get things ready for tomorrow since I would not have any time today to prep. I finally pulled out of the parking lot at about 5:45 p.m. (Side note: three other teachers left after I did. So, if you ever doubt the commitment and time teachers devote to their craft, I urge you to drive by a school late in the day, on the weekend, or on a "break.")

This morning, I got up and drove my kids to school, but I also went into my classroom to finalize prep for today and to catch my sub quickly before the day got into full swing. While I had stopped at Whole Foods on Saturday and submitted an Amazon Prime Pantry order, I still had a couple of grocery items we needed. So, on my way home, I stopped by a grocery store. (Milk is somewhat important, you know.)

I drove my mom and dad to mom's appointment. I was more than a driver. My presence was important. My mom deserved my best. I dressed nicely, I drove carefully, and I stayed engaged throughout her appointment. My initial mental planning had us getting home by 6 p.m. That would allow CD to be dropped off at home and allow me to pick up Miss Hollywood from her Girl Scout obligation. Of course, my mental planning was off by about 90 minutes and thus, we were arriving back home closer to 7:30. I had to think and act quickly. Here's where the "it takes a "village" plays a role. I sent a text and had someone set to pick up Miss Hollywood, but still needed to figure out something for CD. So, I made a phone call and, thankfully, got something set up for him. I am among the blessed, the lucky (whatever you want to call it). I have a village. I have amazing people who help. We help each other, but today, they helped me. They helped me help my parents by helping with my kids.


Also from the Pew Research Center article, "Happiness rates are nearly the same among adults who are not part of the sandwich generation: 28% are very happy, and 51% are pretty happy."

You see, I am sometimes stressed. I am sometimes crunched for time. But, I am happy. I am happy in my career. I am happy as a mother. I am happy as a daughter. I am happy as a friend. I am happy as a human. I am happy. I am grateful. And, at the end of the day, isn't that what it's all about?


As I arrived to pick up my son, all stress and time concerns melted away and I felt genuine happiness.

We aren't perfect. In fact, I am far from perfect. But again, I am perfect in my imperfections. And, I am happy with who I am and what I do. I am thankful for the opportunity to include my parents in my daily life. I am thankful for how much they help me with my children each day. It is give and take. We love each other. We support each other. So, I may be a part of the "sandwich generation," but I'd rather be a sandwich than a buffet. Even the messiest sandwich holds together, albeit sloppy at times. You can't have a sandwich without something on each side. I wouldn't change this for the world right now. So, here we are. A sometimes sloppy, messy sandwich. Grab a napkin. Clean up. And move on. And, thank you to everyone who helps in the role of the napkin. This sandwich appreciates it.

Bring on 2019

If there is one thing 2018 taught me, it is to be unapologetic about lack of time.

So, while I may regret (to some degree) not having written recently, I will not apologize for it. Knowing I wrote as recently as September, I know I have reflected recently enough. Still, I know also that as a year winds down, I tend to stop and reflect while also looking ahead.

So, I am unapologetic, but remain reflective and and looking ahead all the same. I work to invest my time in people and things that fill me. Sometimes I have time to sit down and write. Sometimes, I do not. I hope to make more time for writing, but cannot apologize for not having time before now to write.

2018 hurt.

My dear friend lost her battle with colon cancer at the same time another friend started her battle with colon cancer. And, that hurts. And so, I begin looking back, feeling overly reflective. It began not in 2018, but in 2017. It was my 40th birthday and we gathered to celebrate. Aunt Nini confided that she was in a lot of pain as I brought friends together to celebrate and take photos, and enjoy the time. "If you are in pain, why aren't you at the hospital?" I pleaded, I pondered, I wanted to know. "F**K you," she said as only she could. I knew. How dare I question why she was where she was. We didn't miss time together. I had missed a breakfast date almost ten years earlier because my water had broken. Still, I was apologetic and trying to figure out how to make breakfast happen while in the hospital welcoming my first child into the world three weeks early. That's what we did. That's who we were. How dare I question why she was at my 40th birthday party. We had beaten cancer. Right?!

And yet, here we were.

And, then, less that a year later, I was visiting her diligently in the hospital, at home, in the care center.

2018 hurt.

At the end of June, after a long and fierce battle, cancer won. Cancer won. I had spent Thanksgiving 2017 with her in Las Vegas . I had sat diligently by her bedside in Turlock and Modesto. But, cancer won. She fought long. She fought hard. F**K YOU CANCER! I held her hand and we walked proudly through Ceasar's. She was my friend. She was my sister. She was a huge part of why I am where I am today. She helped get me through my darkest times. She held my hand. She saw me through. She protected me. She guarded me. She was my light at the end of a very dark tunnel. She loved me. She supported me. I am who I am and I am where I am in large part because of her. She gave meme an oasis, safe place.

2018 hurt. A lot.

She never read my blog. This blog. She said she was waiting for the book. I wonder if she was really reading. Still, she said she was waiting for the book. I owe her that. It will come. In time.

2018 hurt.

A very dear college friend is battling the same cancer. One month before Aunt Nini died, my sweet Elizabeth shared her diagnosis. I knew immediately what I needed to do. I was headed for Atlanta.

2018 hurt. And it was full of adventure.

And so the hurt and adventure came together.

Aunt Nini died and Miss Hollywood and I attended her memorial. Then, we hopped a plane to Atlanta. We spent time and it was beautiful and I am thankful.

Adventures for 2018 included baseball games, faires, festivals, and family events. It included travel near and far. 2018 was amazing. CD went to camp with the Boy Scouts for the first time while Miss Hollywood traveled  out of state for the first time. We took time to plan 2019 adventures.  We enjoyed each others' company. We enjoyed the travel. We look ahead. Life is good.

In 2019, we will travel out of state, we will obtain our passports for international travel, and we will journey great places.

Life is good.

As I look back on 2018 and look ahead to 2019 I see one word very clearly: RIVER.

A favorite Garth Brooks song is "The River."

"A dream is like a river
ever-changing as it flows
And a dream is just a vessel
that must follow where it goes..."


And so...I will sail my vessel until the river runs dry....I will journey to greatness. I will take my children on this journey. We will travel upwind and downwind. We will visit new places. We will visit friends and family. We will learn new things and try new things.

The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Embracing the "perfect in my imperfections"

My number one goal in life is for my children to be happy, successful, and responsible. I push them hard as their mom and as a teacher. I work with their teachers closely, but I try to leave enough "rope" for them to be their own people, their own selves.

This gets difficult at times, but generally, I find I can make it happen.

I often talk about being "perfect in my imperfections." I strive to be my best. In that, I strive for both my students and my children to be their best selves. It is easy to make a mistake in a mathematical calculation then show my students that I made a mistake own it, and show them how I fix it. It is is far less easy to make a mistake on the "mom level." But, it happens.

This week, I have had worked hard to be my best and yet, I still fall short at times.

We have had Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, a board meeting for me, confirmation class (for CD), and a major errand for a purchase for my folks. This on top of the regular weekly stuff such as school/work, meals, and such. On top of all of that, both kids had sleepovers tonight. Miss Hollywood is at a Girl Scout sleepover and CD is with family.

Kiera had a checklist for the things she needed for her overnight with her Girl Scout troop. She packed all that she knew she needed to pack on Wednesday night. Heck, she needed a water sample for something they will work on this weekend and had her water sample ready Monday night. I was in charge of things such as the permission slip and money. I prepped all of that. We made all necessary arrangements and she got on her way right after school today. I was proud of her and I was proud of myself. Then, about 5:30 tonight it hit me. She needed a picture of herself. I failed to send one. Mom card revoked. By failing to send the necessary picture, I feel I failed as a mom. I know I didn't fail, but this was A fail.

This is not the first time, nor the last. That, I am sure.

We travel. We have shown up for weekends away without a single toothbrush. We have had to turn around when I have forgotten tickets. We have had to wing it at the public transportation station. We have had to adjust and be flexible, and move forward.

This weekend, we had a relatively easy weekend. We had time to prepare. We had lists. And we had a mostly close-to-home weekend. Still, I dropped a ball. Not the ball, but a ball.

And, we will be ok even though I forgot a picture. I know that. Still, it stings a wee bit.

I am a teacher who will talk with a student and extend a deadline. I am a mom who will forget to pack a picture. But, I am a teacher who will do everything to help a student succeed and I am a mom who will stand by her child's side always. I am a teacher who will go above and beyond, staying late on a Friday to talk with a former student to better help a current student on a Monday. I am a mom who will play a game of Mancala and learn from her son the day after teaching that same son how to do better research.

I am so far from perfect. There are times I struggle with this. But tonight I am working to accept myself just as I am. Perfect in my imperfections. And you, reading this... you are too. And that is ok. Accept yourself as who you are. Do your best. Always. Be awesome. We got this, Today, tomorrow, always.

Platinum, china, or me, myself, and I

Did you know? The traditional gift for a 20th anniversary is china while the modern gift is platinum.

I had to go look it up.

This is the year that I would be celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary. Instead, I find myself reflective. I have given myself permission to be reflective. It's a good thing.

Over the Easter weekend, the kids and I did our (new) tradition of camping with friends. We have, over the past seven years, become more a part of the fold. This year, I took more food, participated in cooking, talked more, and generally felt more a part of the group. The kids, of course, have never felt outside of "the fold." They have friends and enjoy time with them throughout our camping experiences. I have, too, but this year was different and it was such a good feeling. It, in fact, allowed me to indulge my reflective period in a really good way.

Part of this weekend's festivities included a 30th wedding anniversary celebration. The couple used this special time to renew their marriage vows and then the celebration really began. Also with us this weekend was a couple anxiously awaiting their upcoming nuptials. They got engaged last year and look forward to marrying this fall.

Sandwiched in between this spring celebration of love and this fall's upcoming celebration of love is the date that once was my wedding anniversary. I took a moment (quietly to myself) and thought about that. It was a weird feeling at first. I caught myself asking questions that I haven't considered in years. And then, I stopped myself and reminded myself that the reason I know these two couples the way I do is because of the choices I made and the future I decided to step into back in 2011. I reminded myself of how far I have come. And now, in place of celebrating my 20th anniversary, I get to celebrate other moments. I celebrate the renewal of vows of friends. I celebrate a new love as a couple prepares to marry. I celebrate the joy my children bring to my life daily. I celebrate who I am now because who I am now is a pretty awesome "chick." I celebrate me. I celebrate myself. I celebrate I. Me, myself, and I are the gifts I get this year. My kids are the gifts that keep giving me a life full of joy and love.

Later this year, I will celebrate as I have the past few years and honor myself for who I have become and the path I have followed. I will enjoy time with My Chico and Nini. I will take CD and Miss Hollywood on new adventures and revisit some old favorite places. I will further embrace who I am. I will take my mom to celebrate her 50th high school reunion and I will work to enjoy more down time, creative time, and reading time.

It has taken me 20 years down a winding path to become who I am today and I am thankful for the journey. I am thankful for the reminders that sharing this past Easter weekend offered and I am thankful for the lifelong friendships I have that have further blossomed in recent years.

I am thankful.

And so, I need neither china nor platinum to celebrate this year. I just need to remember all of the things for which I am thankful and the gifts they give me daily. I look forward to more sunrises and sunsets with all of these wonderful people who bless me.

Peace and love.