I have printed out the Images of Marriage that i've received so far and I'm going to go through them and see how they all fit together. I also sent them to my co-author who is looking them over as well. We're still gathering information if anyone still wants to submit their responses. The questions are in a post below. Let me know if you would like them re-posted. I am also going through some books of the Bible and trying to connect some "dots" between our 30-something images of marriage and scripture. All of this comes together in other ways, as well.
Interestingly, i watched a Women of Faith video recently and heard again a couple of talks given by Sheila Walsh and Marilyn Meberg that had touched me before, but have touched me again, in a new ways. Connor was able to relate to them as well. I had no idea how much he related to them until I went back and watched them again by myself. Wowsers! more connecting of dots, piecing things altogether.
This is an interesting journey we are on and I am enjoying it, even in moments of frustration or sadness. I am enjoying it.
Last night, i made pozole rojo. mmm....it was SO good! That may be a recipe I put into the "Cooking with Connor" book. I love comfort food. And soup is always a comfort food for me. What do you consider to be among your favorite comfort foods?
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
Isaiah 41
I have always gotten quite a bit out of the book of Isaiah, here and there. I was re-watching something from Women of Faith yesterday and Marilyn Meberg referenced Isaiah 41:9. Soemthing about the verse struck me, but I really wanted to see the verse in context. Seeing it in context spoke to me even more. It really can provide a source of inspiration and hope. So, here it is...
Isaiah 41: 9-14 (NKJV)
You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth,
And called from its farthest regions,
And said to you, ‘You are My servant, I have chosen you and have not cast you away: Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
“Behold, all those who were incensed against you
Shall be ashamed and disgraced;
They shall be as nothing,
And those who strive with you shall perish.
You shall seek them and not find them— Those who contended with you.
Those who war against you Shall be as nothing, As a nonexistent thing.
For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.’
“Fear not, you worm Jacob,
You men of Israel!
I will help you,” says the LORD
And your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.
***
Peace be with you, my friends and readers!
Isaiah 41: 9-14 (NKJV)
You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth,
And called from its farthest regions,
And said to you, ‘You are My servant, I have chosen you and have not cast you away: Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
“Behold, all those who were incensed against you
Shall be ashamed and disgraced;
They shall be as nothing,
And those who strive with you shall perish.
You shall seek them and not find them— Those who contended with you.
Those who war against you Shall be as nothing, As a nonexistent thing.
For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.’
“Fear not, you worm Jacob,
You men of Israel!
I will help you,” says the LORD
And your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.
***
Peace be with you, my friends and readers!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
A thought for today
Mother Teresa has a lot of gems attributed to her. This one I want to share today. It's a great one!
"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”
― Mother Teresa
"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”
― Mother Teresa
Thursday, January 12, 2012
The shower cry
It comes from nowhere. Sometimes I can identify the trigger. Others I can't. It's been directly connected to the range of emotions I've felt over the past seven months. That much I know. Yesterday was a good day. D and I got along. Kiera had both parents there with her. Then, last night before bed, I heated up the shower water and jumped in. I was ready for a nice, long, hot shower. I wanted to do all the regular things (wash my hair, shave, etc) but I also needed to catch my breath. And then...it came. A big, huge cry. I allowed the water to immediately wash away my tears, but I had to let this out. So I did. And all of that emotion rinsed down the drain. I had not had a cry quite like this since last July. It was just a huge emotional release. I took those few moments by myself to just wash it all away which allowed me to go to sleep, get some rest and start completely anew today. It's not that I don't cry other times, other places, for other reasons. I do. And, sometimes I cry for some of these same reasons. There is just something about a long, quiet shower cry to wash it all away. Some people sing in the shower. I cry. Where do you cry when you really need to let it out?
Adventures in mommy-hood
I didn't get myself to bed particularly early Tuesday night. In fact, it was somewhere around 12:30. At 4:49 a.m., my eyes shot open and darted toward the clock. Phew! my alarm hadn't even gone off yet and I had a few more minutes. I allowed myself to doze off a bit. Connor was sound asleep by my side. For the second or third night in a row, he insisted on sleeping next to me. I don't sleep as well because I am constantly aware of him being there and I wake up periodically to make sure he's not too close to the edge or something. my alarm buzzed. my dad switched the light in my room on and i looked up and nodded as if to say, "it's time."
I got up, threw myself together, got some coffee and a granola bar ready to go, then ran back into my room to grab a couple of books for Miss Kiera. I gathered everything together in one spot, then went to get her ready. I changed her from her sleeper to her cozy two-piece jammies that function rather well as an outfit. Snatched from sleep, she was dazed and not entirely sure what was happening, but still her regular happy self. I struggled to get everything together and get myself out the door, juggling the books and my coffee in one arm and holding Kiera in the other. once at the car, of course, I finally thought to put the books into my oversized purse that I was carrying. Buckled Kiera in and turned the car on to get the heat going and defrost the windows. We arrived at the hospital right on time. Whew! Now the day could really begin.
They took us back almost immediately. I put her in her gown and we sat together. We talked, played, observed, and occasionally checked out what was on the televesion. Then...darkness. The whole room turned to black in an instant. Quickly the generator kicked on, but power was limited. As information trickeled in, we waited. Would she still have her procedure today? With the hospital on a back-up generator and her ENT unable to get his car out of the garage because of the power outage, all we could do was wait. I quietly hoped that things would settle, the power would come on, and we would get this procedure over and done with but I didn't speak any such thoughts aloud. Instead, I waited as patiently as I could.
A few minutes after 7, Kiera's daddy walked in. You know, it meant the world to her. As any woman I know would say, sometimes, you just need your daddy there. We took turns holding her and entertaining her. I got out one of her new books that plays music then later her new Babar book. The clock ticked. Finally as 7:35, the power came back on and we were ready to roll. When all was said and done, her procedure started less than 30 minutes later than it had been scheduled for and all worked out just fine.
kiera went off with her stuffed zebra. her mommy and daddy headed out to the lobby to...wait.
I had taken notebooks in case the opportunity arose to write. I had also taken a book to read. I called my parents. Dad had gotten Connor on his way and all had gone well there. Mom was ok. I would talk to each of them again later. I read for a few minutes while I ate my granola bar and sipped my coffee. D sat nearby. I decided that since we had taken the time to get along so well in front of Kiera, it was worth the effort to at least attempt conversation. I think we did great. We talked about the kids and different things from their lives. We talked about a couple of television shows. We talked about Connor and his television viewing...and his newfound fascination with zombies. Before we knew it, the doctor was there telling us all had gone well and Kiera did great. Some time later (thought not all that much later), a nurse came and got me. only one of us could go. I was the one. hearing sweet Kiera call to me as she saw me walking over to her was the sweetest sound. She perked right up. She grew irritated with the blood pressure checks. Each time the cuff tightened, she grew increasingly bothered. By the last one, she could settle down, it kept tightening, so she freaked out even more. There was nothing I could do. The nurse wanted one more check. The nurse finally decided that she didn't need it that bad. I finally got Kiera calmed down. The nurse went to get her clothes from D. i got Kiera dressed and ready to go. D carried her out. The morning excursion was done.
A little later, I took Kiera for a nice, long walk. She fell asleep in the stroller and I kept walking. It was almost two miles and it felt so good. She allowed me to put her into her bed when we got home. When all was said and done, she had napped for about four hours, some of the time in my arms.
I did not expect to be so calm through all of this but I was. My anxiety was low. My patience was high. A lot of people were keeping us in their thoughts and prayers today. I credit that for how things went. I could not have done it without the prayer support. That is for sure.
I had been told to avoid over-stimulation. Ha! Despite my best efforts, she was gung-ho and ready to roll in typical Kiera fashion. She swept the kitchen floor three times! She played and wrestled with her brother in the early evening. She wasn't feeling 100%, but she was giving it her all. I think we could all learn a little from this spunky not-quite-two-year-old.
I got up, threw myself together, got some coffee and a granola bar ready to go, then ran back into my room to grab a couple of books for Miss Kiera. I gathered everything together in one spot, then went to get her ready. I changed her from her sleeper to her cozy two-piece jammies that function rather well as an outfit. Snatched from sleep, she was dazed and not entirely sure what was happening, but still her regular happy self. I struggled to get everything together and get myself out the door, juggling the books and my coffee in one arm and holding Kiera in the other. once at the car, of course, I finally thought to put the books into my oversized purse that I was carrying. Buckled Kiera in and turned the car on to get the heat going and defrost the windows. We arrived at the hospital right on time. Whew! Now the day could really begin.
They took us back almost immediately. I put her in her gown and we sat together. We talked, played, observed, and occasionally checked out what was on the televesion. Then...darkness. The whole room turned to black in an instant. Quickly the generator kicked on, but power was limited. As information trickeled in, we waited. Would she still have her procedure today? With the hospital on a back-up generator and her ENT unable to get his car out of the garage because of the power outage, all we could do was wait. I quietly hoped that things would settle, the power would come on, and we would get this procedure over and done with but I didn't speak any such thoughts aloud. Instead, I waited as patiently as I could.
A few minutes after 7, Kiera's daddy walked in. You know, it meant the world to her. As any woman I know would say, sometimes, you just need your daddy there. We took turns holding her and entertaining her. I got out one of her new books that plays music then later her new Babar book. The clock ticked. Finally as 7:35, the power came back on and we were ready to roll. When all was said and done, her procedure started less than 30 minutes later than it had been scheduled for and all worked out just fine.
kiera went off with her stuffed zebra. her mommy and daddy headed out to the lobby to...wait.
I had taken notebooks in case the opportunity arose to write. I had also taken a book to read. I called my parents. Dad had gotten Connor on his way and all had gone well there. Mom was ok. I would talk to each of them again later. I read for a few minutes while I ate my granola bar and sipped my coffee. D sat nearby. I decided that since we had taken the time to get along so well in front of Kiera, it was worth the effort to at least attempt conversation. I think we did great. We talked about the kids and different things from their lives. We talked about a couple of television shows. We talked about Connor and his television viewing...and his newfound fascination with zombies. Before we knew it, the doctor was there telling us all had gone well and Kiera did great. Some time later (thought not all that much later), a nurse came and got me. only one of us could go. I was the one. hearing sweet Kiera call to me as she saw me walking over to her was the sweetest sound. She perked right up. She grew irritated with the blood pressure checks. Each time the cuff tightened, she grew increasingly bothered. By the last one, she could settle down, it kept tightening, so she freaked out even more. There was nothing I could do. The nurse wanted one more check. The nurse finally decided that she didn't need it that bad. I finally got Kiera calmed down. The nurse went to get her clothes from D. i got Kiera dressed and ready to go. D carried her out. The morning excursion was done.
A little later, I took Kiera for a nice, long walk. She fell asleep in the stroller and I kept walking. It was almost two miles and it felt so good. She allowed me to put her into her bed when we got home. When all was said and done, she had napped for about four hours, some of the time in my arms.
I did not expect to be so calm through all of this but I was. My anxiety was low. My patience was high. A lot of people were keeping us in their thoughts and prayers today. I credit that for how things went. I could not have done it without the prayer support. That is for sure.
I had been told to avoid over-stimulation. Ha! Despite my best efforts, she was gung-ho and ready to roll in typical Kiera fashion. She swept the kitchen floor three times! She played and wrestled with her brother in the early evening. She wasn't feeling 100%, but she was giving it her all. I think we could all learn a little from this spunky not-quite-two-year-old.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Food for thought: $20 bill
This has circulated around FB and email and various other places. I tried to determine who the speaker mentioned is, but came up empty handed. If any readers know who is behind this, I would love to know. I think this is a story worth sharing (true or not, what it says is PERFECT and certainly applicable).
On the way home yesterday, I read a sign in front of a church that had this on it: "A man is rich according to what he is, not what he has." Just another little tidbit worth sharing. I know that walking away from "stuff" can be difficult. I'm sure several of you have been there and understand that. I get it. I lived it. But, at the end of the day, it's all just stuff. But who we ARE...I mean, who we REALLY, TRULY are, now that's important. And we can't let others tell us who we are. We can't let others hold us down. And no one can keep us away from God, except ourselves. So, enough of my typing, on with the $20 bill story...
The $20 Bill
A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill.
In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up.
He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20."
"Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value in God's eyes. To Him, dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to Him."
On the way home yesterday, I read a sign in front of a church that had this on it: "A man is rich according to what he is, not what he has." Just another little tidbit worth sharing. I know that walking away from "stuff" can be difficult. I'm sure several of you have been there and understand that. I get it. I lived it. But, at the end of the day, it's all just stuff. But who we ARE...I mean, who we REALLY, TRULY are, now that's important. And we can't let others tell us who we are. We can't let others hold us down. And no one can keep us away from God, except ourselves. So, enough of my typing, on with the $20 bill story...
The $20 Bill
A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill.
In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up.
He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20."
"Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value in God's eyes. To Him, dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to Him."
Images of marriage --What were yours?
I want to put a few questions out there for the readers. If you have gone through divorce or are in the process of divorce, please share as much or as little as you are willing to share. This goes along with one of the chapter ideas I am working to develop. It's all about the image of marriage versus your actuality.
The questions:
What image of marriage did you have before you married? Were they positive or negative or somewhere in the middle?
What examples had been set for you throughout your lives?
How hopeful were you as you entered marriage?
When did you realize you hadn't developed into that original image? Or, was your original image confirmed, perhaps to your disappointment?
How did you feel?
I always had a very positive image of marriage. The examples set for me were great. When my nana died in 2010, she and my grandfather were exactly one month from their 63rd wedding anniversary. I know their marriage was not perfect. I know they had their struggles (primarily long before my time). But what I saw growing up was something to aspire to and I greatly admired what they had. My parents have now been married for over 40 years. Their marriage hasn't been easy. They've been through a lot together. I remember quite vividly the day a few years ago when my dad was upset with me because I often took up for him and I wasn't always particularly nice to my mom. He said,"your mom and I love each other. We will be married forever" and while I don't remember the exact words he spoke, I remember something he said that struck me as their love for each other will stretch far beyond this world. I truly believe I've seen that with my grandparents as well. When I was newly married, I was driving into town one day when I saw an elderly couple walking hand-in-hand. I remember how my heart warmed by seeing that. I hoped to have that. I always thought that I would marry and it would last forever. I was more or less opposed to divorce. I didn't like the idea of it. But what I know about myself, as well, is the idea of "staying together for the kids" is something that has always bothered me. It took me time to realize that the marriage I had never actually fit into the image I had. When you find yourself saying things such as "I wasn't really allowed to hang things on the walls" you realize that a true partnership never really existed. And that's what marriage is. It is supposed to be a partnership. There will be give and take, but it shouldn't be lopsided. By the time I left, I felt like a shell of myself. I didn't know who I was anymore, but I knew that who I was wasn't who I wanted to be. I may never have another relationship again. I have some definite trust issues. I am putting raising my two children at the top of my priority list. And for now, I am ok with that. I do wonder what is out there. It just isn't an actual priority right now. I know that real, true love and partnerships exist because I've seen them. So, my belief in love still exists and slowly, but surely I'm getting over the issues I had with divorce. At this point, I have to. And so, I take it step-by-step. How about you?
As I wrote some of this, an image of breaking free from chains came to mind which got me singing "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips which led to me looking up the lyrics which led to me looking up the video. While not all of it applies exactly as the lyrics are written, I think this is a good time to share it. Somehow, it fits. In the meantime, if you could please share some of your "images" and experiences with me, I would appreciate it. If you feel more comfortable posting anonymously, that's totally cool with me. I completely understand. Thank you ladies!
The following is another that comes to mind and has helped me through many ups and downs in life, but it reminds me that God will see me through all of it.
MercyMe "Hold Fast"
The questions:
What image of marriage did you have before you married? Were they positive or negative or somewhere in the middle?
What examples had been set for you throughout your lives?
How hopeful were you as you entered marriage?
When did you realize you hadn't developed into that original image? Or, was your original image confirmed, perhaps to your disappointment?
How did you feel?
I always had a very positive image of marriage. The examples set for me were great. When my nana died in 2010, she and my grandfather were exactly one month from their 63rd wedding anniversary. I know their marriage was not perfect. I know they had their struggles (primarily long before my time). But what I saw growing up was something to aspire to and I greatly admired what they had. My parents have now been married for over 40 years. Their marriage hasn't been easy. They've been through a lot together. I remember quite vividly the day a few years ago when my dad was upset with me because I often took up for him and I wasn't always particularly nice to my mom. He said,"your mom and I love each other. We will be married forever" and while I don't remember the exact words he spoke, I remember something he said that struck me as their love for each other will stretch far beyond this world. I truly believe I've seen that with my grandparents as well. When I was newly married, I was driving into town one day when I saw an elderly couple walking hand-in-hand. I remember how my heart warmed by seeing that. I hoped to have that. I always thought that I would marry and it would last forever. I was more or less opposed to divorce. I didn't like the idea of it. But what I know about myself, as well, is the idea of "staying together for the kids" is something that has always bothered me. It took me time to realize that the marriage I had never actually fit into the image I had. When you find yourself saying things such as "I wasn't really allowed to hang things on the walls" you realize that a true partnership never really existed. And that's what marriage is. It is supposed to be a partnership. There will be give and take, but it shouldn't be lopsided. By the time I left, I felt like a shell of myself. I didn't know who I was anymore, but I knew that who I was wasn't who I wanted to be. I may never have another relationship again. I have some definite trust issues. I am putting raising my two children at the top of my priority list. And for now, I am ok with that. I do wonder what is out there. It just isn't an actual priority right now. I know that real, true love and partnerships exist because I've seen them. So, my belief in love still exists and slowly, but surely I'm getting over the issues I had with divorce. At this point, I have to. And so, I take it step-by-step. How about you?
As I wrote some of this, an image of breaking free from chains came to mind which got me singing "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips which led to me looking up the lyrics which led to me looking up the video. While not all of it applies exactly as the lyrics are written, I think this is a good time to share it. Somehow, it fits. In the meantime, if you could please share some of your "images" and experiences with me, I would appreciate it. If you feel more comfortable posting anonymously, that's totally cool with me. I completely understand. Thank you ladies!
The following is another that comes to mind and has helped me through many ups and downs in life, but it reminds me that God will see me through all of it.
MercyMe "Hold Fast"
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Ringing in 2012
Today was the first day of a new year. Some say the world will end in less than 12 months. Some say those who believe the world will end may have a screw loose. I say....we are not promised tomorrow. We could live our lives very carefully, eating healthy, etc etc but tomorrow does not exist until it gets here and by then it's today. So, I am taking this year and setting major goals with a few smaller goals related to them. And, it's going up in my room and I will do whatever I can to keep myself focused and on task.
There's a song that I think is perfect as we leave 2011 behind and head into 2012.
http://www.youtube.com/embed/yGKPHFrHVVY
There's a song that I think is perfect as we leave 2011 behind and head into 2012.
http://www.youtube.com/embed/yGKPHFrHVVY
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