Love from the Spare Tire

Six years finds me more reflective than five. Perhaps that is because a dear friend moved away this week. Perhaps that is because I turned 40. Perhaps it is because with each passing year, I find myself more reflective. Whatever the reason, here I am. Blogging about it all.

Today, I rested, I brainstormed, I wrote, and then late in the day, I showered, did my hair, did my make-up, and took myself out to dinner. Today marks six years since I took a step to change my life and subsequently the lives of my children. Forever.

Miss Hollywood and CD

Father's Day was two days away. I hesitated. But I knew what I had to do. I took the step. The step out. I opted for a healthier life, a healthier me, a better me, a me that could do right by my children. And here I am.

We were scheduled for a swim party. A birthday party. A party for a young lady who is very dear to me, to us. We skipped the party and I took a step out. With a one-year-old and a four-year-old in tow. I stepped out and stepped up. Friends were instrumental. Family was important beyond measure. Here I am. Here we are.

I am a 40-year-old divorcee who has not had a date in years. I find myself thankful for the compliments of male friends (who are not even close to on the romantic radar, so cool your jets) and thankful for adventures with friends. The New Kids on the Block concert, a Las Vegas girls' weekend, an evening of friends to celebrate special occasions. And, like tonight, a self-date. I am thankful for it all.

I will not settle. Tonight, my server wished me a happy "get the 'eff'' out day" and I celebrated.


I will not find myself in a desperate state.

I am who I am. i am thankful for who I am. I will be the best mom to my kids. And, yes, I may become the old divorcee friend who tags along, but you can tell me when I am a fifth wheel. Otherwise, I will just carry on as a necessary spare tire. You always need a spare tire more than you need a fifth wheel. Whether it is me or someone else, remember that.

I give thanks for you. All of you.

I see today as a birthday of sorts. I hope you realize how important you are to this day. Without you, this day would not be possible. All of you. I thank you. Again.. You are special. You are unique. You are awesome. Why? Because you embrace my special, unique, awesome....and you help make my children better people. You invite them to swim. You take them to baseball games. You celebrate their birthdays. You love the three of us...unconditionally. You make our world go 'round. They don't know why they are thankful, but they are. And so am I.

You embrace my quirks and guide my children with love.

Who could ask for more?

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You have shown all three of us that we are worthy of unconditional love. Always and forever.

Love from,
The Spare Tire

Peace, love, fearlessness

On Saturday night, My Chico and I had a chance to step back in time. A time when things seemed more carefree and the world was at our fingertips. We loved music, as we still do, but this music was different. It was fun and the guys who sang it were soooo cute! Of course, I can only be talking about the New Kids on the Block.

For a moment, it seemed we were 13 again. For a moment, we were carefree and giddy. I even came within a few feet of Jonathan Knight and brushed against Donnie Wahlberg's arm (ok, I admit, I reached out and made sure I actually touched his arm after he brushed by me).

This night was different than when we were crazy teenagers, though. NKOTB had grown up, and so had we.

Earlier in the day, a terror attack shook London. Two weeks earlier, a concert full of teen girls ended and an explosion rattled as concert-goers left. I had once been a young girl attending my first concert, just like the eight-year-old who lost her life as she left the Ariana Grande concert in Manchester, England. Donnie Wahlberg took time to spread a message of peace and love. He also added a message to remind us to be fearless.

I have signed much of correspondence and many social media posts over the course of the last year with PEACE AND LOVE. So, when Wahlberg asked, "who believes in peace and love," my answer was easy and quick. I cheered, I put up a peace sign, and I listened.

Wahlberg reminded us that we need to keep loving life and going to concerts. We need to be a constant message of peace and love. We need to make it clear that we are fearless, loving, and will continue to be so.

Here we are nearly a year after the awful attack in Orlando. And again, I find myself sending a message to my friends, my family, my readers...Be peace. Be love. Be fearless.

#fearlessfabulous40
#peaceandlove