The reality of the highlights reel

As I looked over Facebook posts one day, I jokingly asked, "Do you ever actually work?" But, I knew the answer. We all know the answer. What we see on Facebook and other social media sites are just "the highlights reel."

I wrote previously about what you don't see. You don't see the battles behind some of the most fun social media posts. But, they are there. Trust me. You may have seen the pictures, but do you really know the stories?

This hike was almost over before it really started. Two lizards startled
us. Miss Hollywood wanted to turn around and go back to the visitor's
center. We finally did the hike, but it took some convincing.

Do you know that in the midst of a great adventure in Point Reyes, I lost my son for two minutes? Yep, that's right. He told to stay close and to wait on going into the shop. You may have read about our hike and our #eduawesome #adventure but I looked frantically all over for my ten-year-old before finding him admiring the stuffed animals in the gift shop. He had wandered off to look for something that interested him. I found him. No, he did not get the stuffed coyote that fascinated him. Yes, he did get something from the shop that day. I was relieved and my decision to purchase a souvenir from a National Park is rarely tied directly to behavior. We had a great hike, learned about the San Andreas Fault, discovered interesting rocks and seashells. It was a great day. Yet, I had threatened to pack up the car and go home earlier that morning due to a separate behavioral issue with Miss Hollywood.

My children love Food Network shows They especially liked Chopped. I choked down a sauce the other night. Why? Because my daughter made it as part of a challenge. There are no pictures of this one on Facebook, though I did photograph it. A couple of nights later, I did post a picture of my very colorful plate showing off a dinner we planned together and I cooked, plated, and served. In fairness, the dinner Miss Hollywood made the other night was good despite the odd sauces. At least one of them turned out better than I expected, too.

We only see the highlight reels on social media.

Military people are still working hard even when it looks as if they get to play all the time. Educators are constantly learning while traveling places near and far for learning opportunities. Sometimes, they get to do cool things on their work and learning adventures. Still, they work, they learn.

I remember a couple of years ago, I saw where the highlights reel manner of thinking went beyond social media. I had traveled to meet with educators in another state. I did classroom observations at several school, both public and private. I worked for several months to set up the trip. I planned it carefully and cost-efficiently. I paid my own way fr the entire thing and the only thing I asked for was four days away from my school site to make the trip. I read education books while flying to and from. I gathered interesting items to bring back to the school. I even posted and followed up on assignments remotely thanks to Google Classroom. When I returned, one of the teachers said, "Hey! Welcome back! How was your vacation?" I replied calmly, "It was not a vacation" and otherwise bit my tongue.

Just before I took this picture, Miss Hollywood and I argued
over who would carry it to the table. But it sure looks relaxing.

We all experience the "what you don't see" and we all share our highlight reels. Be mindful of this as you scroll through your Facebook feed, your Twitter feed, and SnapChat posts. So, what do we do? Likely, we keep with the status quo. That's ok. We want to see the smiling faces, the happy adventures, the photographic dinner plate. Today, though, I think I'll share something different. I think I'll post the picture of Miss Hollywood's dinner. It looked less pretty in a picture, but it tasted good. In the meantime, be patient with folks, listen carefully to what they are really saying, and when you see your friends in real like, remember to give them hugs. Trust me. You never know when they could use it most.

Love from the Spare Tire

Six years finds me more reflective than five. Perhaps that is because a dear friend moved away this week. Perhaps that is because I turned 40. Perhaps it is because with each passing year, I find myself more reflective. Whatever the reason, here I am. Blogging about it all.

Today, I rested, I brainstormed, I wrote, and then late in the day, I showered, did my hair, did my make-up, and took myself out to dinner. Today marks six years since I took a step to change my life and subsequently the lives of my children. Forever.

Miss Hollywood and CD

Father's Day was two days away. I hesitated. But I knew what I had to do. I took the step. The step out. I opted for a healthier life, a healthier me, a better me, a me that could do right by my children. And here I am.

We were scheduled for a swim party. A birthday party. A party for a young lady who is very dear to me, to us. We skipped the party and I took a step out. With a one-year-old and a four-year-old in tow. I stepped out and stepped up. Friends were instrumental. Family was important beyond measure. Here I am. Here we are.

I am a 40-year-old divorcee who has not had a date in years. I find myself thankful for the compliments of male friends (who are not even close to on the romantic radar, so cool your jets) and thankful for adventures with friends. The New Kids on the Block concert, a Las Vegas girls' weekend, an evening of friends to celebrate special occasions. And, like tonight, a self-date. I am thankful for it all.

I will not settle. Tonight, my server wished me a happy "get the 'eff'' out day" and I celebrated.


I will not find myself in a desperate state.

I am who I am. i am thankful for who I am. I will be the best mom to my kids. And, yes, I may become the old divorcee friend who tags along, but you can tell me when I am a fifth wheel. Otherwise, I will just carry on as a necessary spare tire. You always need a spare tire more than you need a fifth wheel. Whether it is me or someone else, remember that.

I give thanks for you. All of you.

I see today as a birthday of sorts. I hope you realize how important you are to this day. Without you, this day would not be possible. All of you. I thank you. Again.. You are special. You are unique. You are awesome. Why? Because you embrace my special, unique, awesome....and you help make my children better people. You invite them to swim. You take them to baseball games. You celebrate their birthdays. You love the three of us...unconditionally. You make our world go 'round. They don't know why they are thankful, but they are. And so am I.

You embrace my quirks and guide my children with love.

Who could ask for more?

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You have shown all three of us that we are worthy of unconditional love. Always and forever.

Love from,
The Spare Tire

Peace, love, fearlessness

On Saturday night, My Chico and I had a chance to step back in time. A time when things seemed more carefree and the world was at our fingertips. We loved music, as we still do, but this music was different. It was fun and the guys who sang it were soooo cute! Of course, I can only be talking about the New Kids on the Block.

For a moment, it seemed we were 13 again. For a moment, we were carefree and giddy. I even came within a few feet of Jonathan Knight and brushed against Donnie Wahlberg's arm (ok, I admit, I reached out and made sure I actually touched his arm after he brushed by me).

This night was different than when we were crazy teenagers, though. NKOTB had grown up, and so had we.

Earlier in the day, a terror attack shook London. Two weeks earlier, a concert full of teen girls ended and an explosion rattled as concert-goers left. I had once been a young girl attending my first concert, just like the eight-year-old who lost her life as she left the Ariana Grande concert in Manchester, England. Donnie Wahlberg took time to spread a message of peace and love. He also added a message to remind us to be fearless.

I have signed much of correspondence and many social media posts over the course of the last year with PEACE AND LOVE. So, when Wahlberg asked, "who believes in peace and love," my answer was easy and quick. I cheered, I put up a peace sign, and I listened.

Wahlberg reminded us that we need to keep loving life and going to concerts. We need to be a constant message of peace and love. We need to make it clear that we are fearless, loving, and will continue to be so.

Here we are nearly a year after the awful attack in Orlando. And again, I find myself sending a message to my friends, my family, my readers...Be peace. Be love. Be fearless.

#fearlessfabulous40
#peaceandlove

Why I pause...and take a selfie

I have heard people who take selfies referred to as narcissists. I have heard that moms who take selfies with their kids because their husband doesn't take enough pictures and it is the only way they know to capture an image with their children. A memory. While the second theory is likely a part of this for me (though I have not a husband), the first is pretty far from who I am and who I strive to be.

Let me share with you why I take selfies and why I think you should too.

There are days I like my make-up (which I rarely, every rarely actually wear). Th
ere are days I like my outfit. There are days I like lighting. There are days I like a lot of different physical things. But those are rarely why I actually snap the selfie. 99% of the time, I opt to take a selfie because of how I feel in the moment. I want to capture a feeling. A memory. A physical representation of something far deeper than anything you may even see. When I choose to actually share that selfie, it's because something in that moment is important enough to me to share with you, my friends, my family, my world.

Yesterday, I was disappointed with how I looked. I caught myself caught up in negative "Self-talk." I even made up a ridiculous song expressing my disappointment with how I looked. My six-year-old Miss Hollywood caught me in this awful moment. She told me not to talk to myself the way I was. She told me to knock it off. And I did. Immediately. I want my children to practice positive self-talk. I want my children to be proud of who they are and how they look. Every.Single.Day. And so, I grabbed my phone and I snapped a selfie.

For many years, I lived a life where I rarely heard positive things about how I looked and rarely experienced positive reinforcement with choices I made. That sucked. I learned, though, that I was the only person I could count on and count on myself I would. Emerging from that, I learned that no one could fully love me if I d
id not first fully love myself. (This does not include family such as parents, etc., obviously) I realized that I wanted my children to love themselves and I can demonstrate that by loving myself.

So, I started snapping more and more selfies. I like who I am. I like who I have be
come. I like the adventures we have as a family. I like memories shared with my children. I like how I feel in certain moments and the moments I capture in which I don't actually like how I feel are just as important. This is my journey. I need to capturre this journey to look back on and grow on and share with my children later.

I will capture how I feel preparing for a big event. I will capture how I feel at a Giants game with my kids. I will capture ho I feel in moment of pure awesomeness. I will capture how I feel in a moment of defeat. I will capture how I feel drenched in the rain and standing in my parents' bathroom on a random Sunday afternoon. I will capture real and forced smiles. I will capture humor, sadness, and silliness. I will capture as much of this amazing life as a I can. Because I can. Because each moment is important.

And, you can and should do. Be proud of who you are and from whence you came. Be in the moment. Capture the moment. Be fearless. Be fabulous. Take the selfie without apology. Share it when you need.

The best thing I ever did was scratching off a goal

A few years ago, I wrote a 40x40 list. There were excerpts from this list that were posted in my bedroom. Early on, I realied that there was one item on my list that was unattainable. Re-marry by age 40.  So, I crossed it off the list. Perhaps unattainable is an inaccurate description. Inaccurately written is more precise.

I wish to find love
Real love.
By age 40.

And, that, I did.

I found love for self. I found new ways to fully and completely love my children. I joke that I am married to my children and my parents, but there is a lot of truth to that statement.

Here's what I know. I am devoted to my parents and my children. I am committed to them. I am tied to them. Always and forever. It's not perfect all of the time, but as in other ways, I am perfect in my imperfections. I know that when I return home each night, I have two retired educators who will talk to me, listen to me, and guide me.  I know that my experiences as a mom directly impact who I am as a teacher, and vice versa. I know that if and when someone enters my life, they must be ready to enter my life fully and that includes my commitments and my passions.

I am passionate about what I am doing as an educator. i love the magic happening in my classroom. I appreciate opportunities to attend and present at conferences. It works for me.

As my 40th birthday approaches, I find myself reflective.

Do I wish I had a date now and then?
Sure, of course.

But I am thankful for what I have.


Thus begins the weird ramblings of this post reflective of my thinking.

I have attended and presented at conferences. i have walked slowly through the produce section at the grocery store. I have tried online dating. I attend my kids' events. I have and will continue to collaborate with other educators. I keep an eye out while not searching. And I have not had a date in close to three years. I have had a couple of pseudo-dates, but hard to call them dates. I am who I am.  I have come to appreciate opportunities to share with other educators. I have have taken myself on self-dates. I have taken my kids out to special places. I may not be married again by age 40, and that's ok. I am surrounded by love and I have come to know myself better.

I may not be or have the Hollywood ending, but I have my life. It is an ongoing, amazing life. And, for that, I am thankful. Day by day, we make it work, we shoose love.

Yep, that guy in the produce section will remain a dream. Connecting with someone at a family event is not going to happen. And I have figured out, I am cool with all of it. It will all come together in the time it should. Timing is everything and totally out of my hands. For now, I am married to my parents and my children. Maybe 'll have a date soon. Maybe I won't. But I will know this. I will turn 40 and I am fearless, fabulous and 40. If a date comes, it does. If it doesn't, that's ok too.

Step by step.
Day by day.
Follow your passions.

Want to read more about my passions? Visit eduawesomeadventure.come to read about the awesomeness that I have chosen.

Goal setting, mind-setting: 2017 will rock

As a new year approaches, I like to begin setting goals and getting my mind focused for the year ahead. The last two years, I created a mantra for myself and set my sights on BE. LIVE. BELIEVE. That's still a large part of who I am and will remain a focus. I have to be careful to avoid being so busy making our lives great that I lose sight of enjoying living life. Each and every single day is a blessing and for that I am grateful.

Going into the celebration of the New Year, I thought a lot about m 40X40 list and various goals. I examined where I was in relation to where I hoped to be at this point in my life. I set that list of 40 things to accomplish by age 40 back in 2013. On one hand, it feels like just yesterday, on the other, I wonder how suddenly it is so long ago...a distant memory. I am not the same person I was in 2013. I have continued to get Bekah back and I have continued to grow as a person. I have shifted priorities.

I had not yet set specific goals for this year. I had not given myself something to strive to achieve. Until tonight.

Tonight, I attended the Successful Women of the Central Valley monthly mixer. Last year, My Chico and I attended the January meeting and "Name Your Year" was the topic. I went into the mixer a year ago knowing and wholeheartedly believing that 2016 would continue BE~LIVE~BELIEVE. And so, naming my year was easy. This year, I knew I had some ideas floating around my brain but I hesitated to put a "theme" to the thoughts. I really felt unsure about how exactly I would "name my year," but alas, I would return to the SWCV mixer and perhaps come out with something.

And I did.

Then I drove home and realized that it would change. It had to change.

A common thread in much of my note writing revolved around organizing chaos, searching for and spreading peace and love, and bringing harmony to the world at home, at work, in my community, and in the world. I sat with the woman leading the exercises and we discussed what I had written. She asked me for a song to summarize what I had written. I searched for one, mentally singing different lines from different songs. Finally, in all of the concert hall sound that was my brain at the time, I settled on one.

"Perhaps this is going to sound cliche," I said. "But, I think it's Hallelujah."

I have two versions of the song on my iPod, one of which is Leonard Cohen's. My favorite, though, if the recently shared Pentatonix version. (Have you heard it yet?)
I was guided through all of this and led to naming my year "My Hallelujah Year." I wasn't 100% sold on the idea, but felt it put me on the right track, so I made a note of it and decided to consider it. Later, I adopted it and nurtured it and made it mine.

And then, I got in the car to drive home. I planned to listen to Hallelujah on the drive home, but got sidetracked by the Broadway station (XM station 72). A song was finishing and it was one I was familiar with, so I decided to just let it be. The next song to come on was from "Hamilton." Something about "It's Quiet Uptown" struck me and it caused a huge AH-Ha moment for me. I started thinking about "My Shot" and what it meant to me, too. I thought about how much I love music, how much fear needs to go allowing peace and love to prevail.  I started thinking about how I I felt so unsettled about what I had named my year and how much I wanted to take what I knew, break from convention, and make it something completely of my own that embodied some of the thoughts I had.

This year ahead is going to be huge for me and that is in large part because I plan to make it huge. Huge for me, for my children, and for everyone who is a part of our lives. I can see where in December I may scream "Hallelujah" from a high mountaintop. I can also see where that was just a piece of today's puzzle to get me where I really needed to be. Other songs on the drive solidified what I was feeling, thinking, and ready to share.

2017 for me will be a beautiful thing. Peace and Love will spread like a wildfire even in the tiniest of ways. I will do my part. And this year for me shall be named:
Fearless Fabulous 40

I will be fearless.I will be fabulous.I will be 40.

And it is going to rock!















Songs from the drive home included: "It's Quiet Uptown," "Hallelujah," and "Here's to Us." Songs in my head this evening included "Give Peace a Chance," "Imagine," and "My Shot."

Continuing our adventures in 2017

First and foremost:
Happy New Year!

2017 will be an amazing year. Many, including myself at times, have blamed 2016 for loss. But, the reality is 2016 was a year. Just a year during which many things, good and bad happened. the impactful deaths we experienced were many. And said. And difficult. When Carrie Fisher died just after Christmas, I felt so sad about yet another loss to my childhood. But a year did not take people from us. And, honestly, these are not people who were taken from us, but pieces of our lives and experiences.

When my granddad died in September 2014, I experienced real loss. The kind of loss that hurts. Deeply and forever. He was old. He had heart disease. We knew one day it would come. And it hurt, so deeply, so badly. And, honestly, it still hurts. I miss him so much. I look at times during which he would be greatly proud of me and wonder what he would say. But, I also step back and give thanks for the time we had.

My return to work after his memorial in November 2014 was the beginning of a transition for me. I knew it because I saw it almost immediately. I continued to love, nurture, and teach my students. I continued to grow as an educator and as a human being. But I saw what was happening in my life and I knew change was coming. That shift continued for abut 18 months. Then it solidified.

The last time I was with my brother and both of my cousins at our family ranch was for granddad's memorial. Then, we were all together on a post-Christmas trip. And it was amazing. Life was good. We were good. And, we were together. For that. I am thankful, so very thankful.

In 2016, I traveled both with and without my children. I had my #EdTechRoadtrip to Southern Alabama in February. I flew into New Orleans, drove to Alabama. I visited schools and ate great food, and met educators, and met an old college friend, and did things completely on my own that scared me and inspired me. It was amazing!

My daughter won an award at her school science fair. We camped, we attended baseball games, we checked out Cons and festivals and fairs. We spent time with family and friends. We lived.

We lived.

I have looked over my 40x40 list and I have seen what it holds. Some things I handled easily while others are being left in the dust. I may not have received a Pulitzer for my writing, but I was among finalists for Outstanding Educator within CUE. That's rad! I may not have published books, but I presented at education conferences, sat as a part of a panel discussion at a Women's Center fundraiser, and presented to a local Lions Club. I may not be a largely accomplished runner, but I have earned medals at two small, local runs. I have taken my kids to Giants games, Nuts games, shows, concerts, and on grand adventures. I am thankful. Why? Because we lived. We lived each and every day to the fullist.

As we prepare for them to return to school and as a sometimes feel thankful fr=or that, I also look ahead to what our next adventure may bring. I see hiking, camping, exploring, living, adventuring, and being in our future. I see traditions being solidied and memories being made.

I am not remarried. I am not even dating. Thaat's ok. I live each day to the fullest. I am open to anything that will expand our adventures. I am planning trips and look forward to more time with friends and family. 2016 was awesome. I hope to make 2017 awesomER!

What are your hopes and goals for the year ahead?