Thursday, January 12, 2012

The shower cry

It comes from nowhere. Sometimes I can identify the trigger. Others I can't. It's been directly connected to the range of emotions I've felt over the past seven months. That much I know. Yesterday was a good day. D and I got along. Kiera had both parents there with her. Then, last night before bed, I heated up the shower water and jumped in. I was ready for a nice, long, hot shower. I wanted to do all the regular things (wash my hair, shave, etc) but I also needed to catch my breath. And then...it came. A big, huge cry. I allowed the water to immediately wash away my tears, but I had to let this out. So I did. And all of that emotion rinsed down the drain. I had not had a cry quite like this since last July. It was just a huge emotional release. I took those few moments by myself to just wash it all away which allowed me to go to sleep, get some rest and start completely anew today. It's not that I don't cry other times, other places, for other reasons. I do. And, sometimes I cry for some of these same reasons. There is just something about a long, quiet shower cry to wash it all away. Some people sing in the shower. I cry. Where do you cry when you really need to let it out?

1 comment:

  1. Also in the shower. Mainly in the throes of post-trauma and/or deep grief. You're right - it is a great release.

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