As the song says, "I left my heart in San Francisco." There are three places I need to go every so often because they bring me balance: Chico, the Foothills or the Ranch (hiking possibilities, outdoors, fresh air), and San Francisco. I was overdo for a good SF trip. I hate when people refer to it as "Frisco," but I did catch an interesting piece of trivia. Apparently sailors called it "Frisco." So, I will be more forgiving of my brother for saying it. Otherwise, it still annoys me. I lovingly call it The City. The Bay air, the beautiful sights, all of it bring me alive and fill me and prepare me for whatever is yet to come in their very own ways. And thus, a blog post was born...
Every so often, you need to take time
for yourself and for friends and for life. Period.
This is something that thankfully, with
the help and support from my parents, I am able to do. It takes
weeks, sometimes months of planning, but they will watch the kids for
me for a night or two while I have a therapeutic adventure. This
weekend's adventure took me to my favorite city in the world: San
Francisco. All of my recent trips here (this year), have included the
children in one way or another. We have some great fun in San
Francisco this year. CD and I made it to two Giants games. We saw the
USS Nimitz in the San Francisco Bay. We discovered a great “dive”
with awesome food where I also drank my first Anchor Steam. I have
become more and better acquainted with the area around the
Embarcadero and I don't get quite as lost trying to find my way back
onto the Bay Bridge when it comes time to depart. I have walked more
in this City this year than I've walked anywhere in a very long time.
I love it.
So, S and I set out on a working
adventure. Our second working adventure with a strong twist of
celebration this year. We are finding that we need these trips and we
hope to take one or two of them each year for the foreseeable future.
I also hope to get S to move up this way, but that will come later.
The work came in many forms. One, we
are continuing our post-divorce research of ourselves and how we
function as we continue to emerge and assert ourselves in our
rediscovered selves, in our freedom. It is interesting to see what I
learn of myself. Risk taking is becoming a huge part of my life. I
need to take more risks. Not big huge risks. I won't be jumping off
of the Golden Gate Bridge or something crazy like that. However, I do
want to take more plunges. I want to take more risks in the way of
relationships. I need it. I also need to continue to discover my
assertive side a bit more. I did this in a few different ways on our
trip to San Francisco. I will share them in a moment.
We interviewed each other some. I wrote
some. We talked a TON. We turned off our phones for four hours to
focus on the here and now, allowing ourselves to be truly present in
the present. It was wonderful! I sought some financial advice and we
briefly discussed my goals list for 2013 and how to write up one or
two of my financial goals. We had a meeting to network for S
and to catch up with someone she has a working relationship history
with which allowed her to explore more ways to move into the future
and I felt confident in participating in some of the discussion. It
was a very nice breakfast experience. We explored our silly sides,
too. We went to Macy's where we visited Santa and had our pictures
taken then giggled our way through some pictures with a Justin Bieber
cutout at a bar. Huh?! Weird, but fun and laughter felt so good! UT
friend JL joined us for that. It was incredibly awesome! I loved it.
We ate at the Public House, split a burger at Red's and walked more
than eight miles in one day then close to three more miles Sunday
morning. We explored. We lived. WE LIVED! I could not be more
thankful for this weekend.
The risks: I approached a young man
sitting alone at Public House, explained that I am taking more risks
and said hello. That was it. Very public, very safe, and all I did
was say hi, introduce myself, get his name, and walk away. I wasn't
interested in anything more than just offering a greeting. So I did.
I asked some random employee of one of the Wharf businesses if I
could borrow his Segway, laughed and went on my way. I haggled with a
street vendor and got a couple of bucks off a t-shirt for Miss
Hollywood. I encouraged S to walk up a make-shift pathway for a photo
op, then I did it myself and when someone started to kind of joke
about our photo adventure, I said, “hey! Don't knock the most
awesome person on Earth!” They just kept walking. I said “good
morning!” to a group of nuns because the mood struck me, and in
unison they responded, “Good morning! God Bless you!” I felt
filled. Imagine if I had not said good morning to them. We are given
incredible, amazing, awesome lives to live, explore, love...we must
do our part to be in it and to do just that. If I am going to take
more risks in my relationships, then I also need to not be afraid to
to just go out and live. It's ok to say good morning to people. I had
my picture taken with a guy in a Dalmation costume with three dogs. I
ate a hot fudge sundae after eating way too much other food. I had a
glass of wine instead of a cup of coffee to close out my Saturday
night. I sent some random (and some not-so-random) texts to The
Guardian and had fun with them. I walked well over 10 miles in a
24-hour period because it just made sense. And it felt good. I do not
hurt the way I would have as recently as three years ago. I feel
good. I smile. Yes, I'm a little stiff, but I'm not sore. Yes, I'm a
little tired, but I feel so alive. These are the days that count but
they only really count if we make them count. We need to live for
each and every moment. There is no time to waste wondering “what
if” this, that, and the other thing. If we look back and say, “I
wonder what would have happened if...” we will never really know.
If we sit and think “What if I tried...” Screw it! Just try it. I
sat around pondering what to say to someone and then I realized, it
did not matter. It wasn't about what I said, it was that I said
something. So, I did. And I felt great inside.
Now, I will go home, sit down with my
two sweet babies, and tell them that their dog died. It will suck. To
say that it will be difficult is an understatement. However, I feel
better equipped to do it now than I did before. And I will have hugs
and love and support for them. And they will be ok. We will be ok.
Life will be better than ok. It will be great. We must take all of
these moments and live them fully.
As 2012 comes to a close and as I
continue to look over my goals for the year to come, I feel good,
confident, and happy about the year ahead. 2013 is going to be a GREAT year! I intend to do my part to make it such. How about you?
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