The Long (but temporary) Goodbye post part 2

I knew her for over eight years. I taught with her. I taught for her (as in, I subbed). She mentored me. I learned from her. I looked up to her. Most recently, I have taught at the same school as her daughter. I loved and admired her. And I still learned things about her today that I never knew. I cried. I prayed. I hugged.

We shared a birthday. This year, I will start my birthday at mass with others who loved and respected this great teacher.

At today's funeral mass, I looked around and soaked in how many different people were in attendance. As people processed forward for communion, I watched and I continued to watch as they returned to their seats. It was like watching her legacy walk through the church. Students of past and present walked through. Ages ranged tremendously. Everyone gathered to mourn and celebrate a great woman. A woman who went into teaching later in life, even later than I have. No wonder she was so supportive of me and my decision to switch gears to become an elementary school teacher. She had done the same.

I cry because I miss her. I cry because I had looked forward to learning more from her and turning to her for guidance. I cry because she was the kind of teacher I want to be and I have a long ways to go. I rejoice because I am where I am in part because of her influence on my life. I rejoice because I know the things I admired about her, I can strive for in my own teaching life.

I drove straight from work to today's funeral mass. Tuesday I travel straight from a special memorial mass at the school where she taught to work. I hope to take with me some of what she inspired in me. More tears will surely come. But I do rejoice in the fact that she is now with God, looking down on us, and still continuing to inspire people, myself included. She was not only someone I admired as a teacher, but someone I admired as a woman living a Christ-like life. She was a true model of what it means to be a Christian. To love as He loves us.

Within the past year or so, a former student from the school where she taught was killed  in a gang-related shooting. Within the past week or two, an arrest was made in that shooting. the shooter was also a former student of that school. I was close to tears upon hearing that news. I knew both boys. They were two boys headed down that path, but it breaks my heart that even with the positive influences they received at the school, it just wasn't enough to help them change course. It is a reminder that we cannot save everyone. But that doesn't mean we don't try. It doesn't mean we don't love. It doesn't mean we don't teach. We just have to do our best. And, like in the story of the boy throwing starfish back into the ocean, it makes a difference to some. And if it makes a difference to even one student, then we have succeeded. This woman found something in every student and she helped them to learn how to let their lights shine. There is one student I saw today who I thought about and discussed over dinner. "She helped him find his niche," I said. So may teachers would have given up on this boy, written him off. He struggled...a lot. But, one day, a little over a year ago, I was subbing for her and the students were doing a presentation. There it was. He was a shining star. From that point in his educational career, things changed. She brought something alive in him. (By the way, it involved acting.) She did not give up on him and her patience and persistence paid off. He will forever be changed because of the positive influence of this great teacher. I guarantee it!

"This little light of mine...I'm gonna let it shine....this little light of mine....I'm gonna let it shine...this little light of mine....I'm gonna let it shine....let it shine, let it shine, LET IT SHINE!"

As I departed today's funeral mass, the following song played on the radio:

Where is the love? The love is in people like my mentor. and I hope it is in me. I also hope to share it and use it to make a difference in this world. She did.