A spark and a tingle

So apparently, these two things are things that most people actually experience in their lives. I can't say that I ever really had. I didn't really date. I had crushes. I had interests. But, I don't think I really did much dating. Even still, I was married for nearly 13 years before separating and I really and truly do not recall ever actually feeling those things. I know I loved my former husband. I poured so much into the relationship, into us, into our family. I desperately wanted what I had always envisioned marriage being, but I never got it. It was a bummer. But beyond that, there was no spark (instant or otherwise). We went from being best friends to being engaged. *poof* just like that. I never felt the butterflies and tingle that is apparently what others have felt.

And then, one day last week...I felt it. My entire body was completely energized. I was shocked. "WTH is this?" I wondered. No really, I didn't quite know how to process it. I tingled from head to toe. Just a few days earlier when I first met Mr. M, something (figuratively speaking) stopped me dead in my tracks. I described it later as "I think this might be one of those 'spark' things that people talk about."

I've had one date with Mr. M. I'm not sure if there will actually be more dates or not, though I would love to see what this spark and tingle are all about. But, whatever happens (or doesn't happen), meeting Mr. M has taught me some things. There are hard working 30-something men in the world. Not all gentlemen are off the market. And, the spark and the tingle do exist. I have also learned that there are men in the world who will be supportive and helpful. The best part of all of this is that I am seeing what I want from a man in my life (if that is what is intended for me) and I am not so focused on what I don't want. It's nice to have that positive energy and positive thinking in me. One of the things I want? The spark. Another thing? The tingle.

On a somewhat related note, the divorce is final. I am back to my maiden name. I am continuing to get all of me back and to get and stay on track. My TPA tasks (for my credential) are done and now all I can do is wait for my scores. Then I can do my exit interview. I'll finalize my portfolio while I am in this academic holding pattern. I have also started really seeking employment. I put in an application tonight. More to come this week. I need to work. I miss working. It has been too long. My studies are done so now I can get back to it. I miss the classroom. I cannot wait to have my own, but will sub in the meantime and I will appreciate each and every day I work.

Things are moving forward. Stay tuned for updates. They shall come. And, if you have it in you, say some prayers and think some happy thoughts for this whole Mr. M thing. I would appreciate it. (Prayers are also appreciated for speedy reporting of TPA task scores, finding/getting a teaching job, etc.)